maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
