take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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