Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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