Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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