Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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