I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
