you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
