She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
