it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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