we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
