So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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