You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
