I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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