my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
