she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
