Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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