shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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