I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
