I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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