birth control should be required to get into college
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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