She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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