it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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