i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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