what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
