He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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