yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
