That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
