Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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