Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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