the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
