I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
