so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
