I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
