no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
