so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
