Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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