THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
