so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
