he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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