Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
