Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
