i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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