The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
