woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
