And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
