guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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