U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she peed on how many people?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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