I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
