My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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