Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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