Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
