it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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