i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
