Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
