Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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