I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
