That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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