I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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