no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
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It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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