Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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